The 2014 Critical D Game Awards

Did someone say “Oscars for video games?”

Our PoverD(copyright) podcast with discussion on the following categories:

 

The Critical D’s Favorite Facebook/Aerospace Page

Sayin Itadkimasu b4 u eat da pussy Mk. II

sayin2

 

Look at this Facebook page. Just look at it! No page brought us more collective joy or had us circulating more dumbassed links then Sayin Itadakimasu b4 u eat da pussy Mk. II. Just say that out loud a few times. How could it not win?

 

Most D-Licious (Best Looking Game)

Dragon Age: Inquisition

d

I think at this point, I’ve dumped some 120 hours into Dragon Age Inquisition. This translates into a lot of time looking at Dragon Age Inquisition. In short, I REALLY like looking at Dragon Age: Inquisition. Each of the areas are beautifully rendered, and each of the areas feels different and unique. From the deserts of eastern Orlais, to the Emerald Graves, to the Storm Coast, the whole game looks stunning.

Honorable Mentions: Assassin’s Creed:Unity, South Park: The Stick of Truth

 

Biggest Punch in the D (Biggest Pre-Hype to Let Down Ratio)

Destiny

destiny

I don’t think there’s much to say about this one. This game had hype ranging back YEARS, only to deliver a repetitive experience that only gets more content through “season-pass” updates which hardly add enough content to warrant the cost. Destiny could have been a game of the decade, but now it’s nothing but another choice in the plethora of half-assed MMOs out there these days.

Honorable Mentions: Watch Dogs, Assassin’s Creed:Unity

 

The Biggest Kiss on the D (Biggest Pre-Hype to Positive Reception)

Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

mordor 1

A Lord of the Rings game. A god-damned Lord of the Rings game. No one was expecting a Lord of the Rings game to be in the discussion amongst the best games of the year but here we are. It’s Nemesis system had promise when we first saw it but no one expected how fluid and dynamic the system would actually be under fire. We didn’t know we wanted it until we had it. And now we crave more.

Honorable Mentions: Transistor, Bravely Default

 

Rock Out With Your D Out (Best Song in a Game)

Nominees:

We All Become/Transistor

The Spine/Transistor

Paper Boats/Transistor

Plains of Passage/Shovel Knight

Zone 1 Level 2/Crypt of the NecroDancer

Draconian Dream/Call of Duty Advanced Warfare

Winner 

Zone 1 Level 2/Crypt of the NecroDancer

Crypt of the Necrodancer is still in early access but man is it a bomb-assed game. A rhythm-based, rouge-like dungeon crawler? Sign us up. The game gives you the option to import your own music but with a soundtrack this hoppin’, honestly, why would you ever want to? Zone 1 Level 2 just straight up sounds cool. Bumping your head to the techno beat as you as you hop between defeating all variety of mystical creature is an experience we simply can’t get enough of. Just take our money now.

Honorable Mentions: We All Become (Transistor), Draconian Dream (Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare)

 

Back to D Future (2014’s 2013 Game of the Year)

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

rising

When you can’t play Bayonetta 2, there’s always the next best thing. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance has some of the best action combat of any game not named Bayonetta and kicking the legs out from under the some poor foot solider as you slide under him, and slicing him clean down the middle before bulling out his super teal, future nano-manchine spine before crushing it is something that never gets old no matter how old your game as. Oh, and lest we forget, RULES OF NATURE!

Honorable MentionsTomb Raider, Metro: Last Light

 

Best Game Beginning with the Letter D brought to you by The Critical D and the Letter D

Dragon Age: Inquisition

dragon2

Who released so many damn D games this year? What’s so appealing about D? Damn this is dumb. Dude, Dragon Age doe, was darn well done. Some games darkening my doorstep are a dime a dozen, but DA:I dominated detractors by doing dark fantasy daringly dutifully. D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die had more Ds though…

Honorable Mentions: D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die, Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

 

The Grossest D: Worst Game of the Year (But Best Drowning Simulator)

Sonic Boom

sonic

Sonic Boom likes drowning. Do you?

 

Most D-Lightful Sequence

Any Time Bayonetta Fights The Lumen Sage (Bayonetta 2)

lumen

Platinum Games knows how to make epic action games, and the fights with the Lumen Sage that occur a few times throughout the game were all just breathtaking, also at the same time made you forget that you stopped breathing. Combined with the fast-paced movements of the fights that keep you focused, these scenes were perfect to get your adrenaline pumping the whole way through.

Honorable Mentions: Like Most Of South Park (South Park: The Stick of Truth), Getting Into A Titan (Titanfall)

 

The Critical D Game of the Year

Bayonetta 2

bayonetta

Brian’s #1 game here says all that needs to be said.

Honorable Mentions: Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor, Dragon Age: Inquisition

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *